
My Home Birth Story (water birth)
Before I started writing this I gave a lot of thought to why I wanted to birth at home with my second baby. I don’t think I gave any thought to why when I made up my mind or during my pregnancy or any time before the birth. Before the birth it just felt like the right thing to do. But once I started thinking about this post is when I felt the need to explain.
I conceived both my children at first try, I am healthy, I’ve never had any reason to visit doctors or hospitals and my first birth was pretty messed up thanks to unnecessary interventions in spite of having a dream pregnancy (except the vomiting eeew); though it was vaginal and all’s well that ends well. However I have a lot of confidence in my body and the way I am built, I see no reason why I can’t birth like females of all mammal species have birthed since forever and if anything had to go wrong it can go wrong anywhere anytime.
Having said this, I feel interventions, C-sections, hospitals, and doctors all have their place and it’s great to have them when it’s genuinely a high-risk pregnancy or when complications arise. But the midwifery care model is evidence based and really supports and celebrates birth and women. They monitor the pregnancy and the birth closely and I felt far safer and in better hands this time than when I was with a hot shot doctor in a hotshot hospital the first time around.
Hospital births have become unnecessarily medicated and the worse part is that it is based on convenience of doctors, schedules, hospital protocols etc. Births are not based on individual women and their bodies and they are NOT evidence based at all.
It makes sense right? Each pregnancy is so different, each birth so individual and the mass factory of big hospitals cannot afford to cater to each individual woman. Hence they have schedules and if labor has not ‘progressed’ in a certain amount of time, it’s time for the cut. Women are forced to labor and birth on their backs in semi reclining positions for no evidence-based reasons what so ever in most hospitals in Mumbai. While giving birth the hormones at play are so delicately balanced and any interference with this has far reaching consequences. Women need to listen to their bodies instead of being told or forced to birth a certain way.
In my first son’s birth my doctor actually pulled out a huge list of women who were due that month and ticked of my name on the list and induced me because she was travelling in a few days and felt I may deliver while she was away. Without even asking or telling me! My baby was born 18 days early to fit the doctor’s schedule and my baby, my husband and I were nothing more than a statistic, mere tick marks in what was meant to be the most momentous occasion of our lives. While meeting my baby for the first time and having him latch on for the first time I will never forget, the birth and how we were treated is something I won’t like to remember.
Again synthetic oxytocin or Pitocin to speed up labor are regular hospital procedure here in Mumbai (as are routine episiotomies) and can cause a cascade of interventions. Do have a look at this video which shows the work the hormone Oxytocin does if the circumstance is conducive.
I knew then that I would do it differently the next time and home birth was something I read about and investigated way before I gave birth again. I can say I was way more informed and well read the second time around than the first where I put myself in the hands of doctors and medical staff. In retrospect I feel so silly because I was so well informed about everything under the sun when it came to my body and health and even had a blog to show for it, but when it came to something so huge as giving birth I was ready to put myself completely in the care of doctors, instead of being informed and doing due diligence the first time around.
During this pregnancy I met my awesome mid wives Lina and Nhing, from Mumbai midwife when I was in my first trimester and immediately got a sense that I was in great hands. Over the course of the pregnancy I met them every month along with my back up doctor Dr. Ameet Dhurandhar. I remember feeling so sick and low during my third trimester and chatting with Lina on whatsapp and she really being there to ensure that I was ok. This care was different, this time I was with people who really loved being at births and bringing babies into this world, unhurried, at our pace, following no prescribed time line
On 5th April – Easter Sunday – my cousin offered to help me set up our new kitchen as we were due to move into our new apartment the following day. I was in the living room of my mother in law’s home chatting with my sister in law at 1 pm when I first felt the surges. They came and went every 2 minutes lasting for 45 seconds. My husband Sumit was in our new apartment trying to get things in order when I called him saying get the bedroom ready as the baby was coming. I texted my cousin to say the plans were off.
I then called Lina who told me they would be over to see me. I walked over to our new apartment and asked my midwives to meet us there. When Nhing got there by 4:30 I asked her to do an internal and she said I was already 7 cms dilated. After that Nhing and Sumit started rushing to get the water birth pool inflated and set up. I just concentrated on the contractions and lost all track of time.
Lina was there suddenly and Sumit discovered the geysers in our new apartment were not working. He rushed over to our neighbours to ask for hot water and they slowly filled up the pool. I got in and the water was welcoming and relaxing. I remember falling asleep between contractions. Labour really slowed down then. I remember fretting about getting our new wooden floors wet, and worrying about the move, about what my son was doing, pending jobs in the apartment etc., which according to Nhing was the reason labor slowed down.
What I didn’t worry about however, not then, not at any point in the pregnancy, was having complications or needing interventions, or birthing at home. I had an exceptionally strong belief in my body and my ability to give birth like we are meant to.
Between 5 pm tp 9 pm I was in and out of the pool; to walk around in order to get a change and let my body do the work. Every time I was out of water the contractions seemed strong and unbearable and I was dying to get back in again. Through out this time Lina was checking the baby’s heartbeat and checking my blood pressure at regular intervals (10 or 15 minutes I think) while Nhing was taking pictures and sitting in the corner knitting. Lina massaged my lower back during every contraction!
They were discussing things in hushed voices. It was surreal. I was about to give birth, I was in another world altogether, there was a point where I was weeping copiously when Sumit played Tum Ho Toh from Rock on. At 9 pm I asked my midwives to do an internal again and there I was 10 cms dilated and they told me I could push whenever i was ready. I requested Nhing to rupture the membranes as they were bulging and I knew that the baby would be out soon after.
At some point between 9 and 9:40 I pushed him out in a semi squatting position. The crowning was really pure pain where I felt my body was being torn apart, and then it was over and there he was. All 3.9 kgs (8.4 pounds) of him. I cuddled him in the water and kissed his vernix covered body. We stayed that way for about half an hour and he latched on within 5 minutes of being born. Half an hour later my placenta was born and I got on the bed cuddling my precious bundle. Sumit cut the cord after the placenta was detached. Lina checked his heartbeat while he was on my body –where he belonged- and we didn’t get separated till 1 am, which is when they wiped him down and weighed him and stitched my tear. They showed me his placenta which was shaped like a perfect heart, which was quite uncanny as we had already decided on a name for him which means ‘Love’.
I had a shower used the bathroom and got on the phone to call and text loved ones. The mid wives finally left by 2 :30 am after making sure we were all tucked into bed.
I remember that night. I couldn’t believe he was there next to me whimpering, suckling, and smelling divine. The night passed in and out of sleep with him curled up into me.
The next morning my first son danced in (from our old apartment) excited to see his baby brother and I was up and about like nothing had happened. I must say the way I resumed life the very next day, able to take care of my toddler and my baby, able to get back into routine, hardly any recovery required, no pain from the minor tear as compared to the episiotomy, not feeling like a patient hooked up to a drip, made everything worth it.
This was not ideal. I would have preferred the new apartment to be in a much more habitable condition. But all in all, this was a dream birth and I am glad I was educated enough to give my baby the safest and gentlest of births born into the comfort of home, feeling loved and supported.
While I understand home birth is not for everyone, I would encourage every woman to research undisturbed birth and have a midwife assisting her. The masculisation or medicalization of the birthing process has its place. It just doesn’t have to be in every situation. My midwives Lina and Nhing are my friends for life and I am so happy they were my birth companions. Their quiet confidence and matter of fact attitude made it such an enriching experience! I was on a high for weeks after!
It was such an empowering birth because I the mother made all the decisions with regards to MY body and my baby, and they only intervened (internal checks and rupturing the membranes) on my request. Thanks Lina and Nhing!
Thanks for reading. I would love to hear thoughts and comments.
Update
The Human Rights in Childbirth Conference, Mumbai 2017 is just around the corner. Registrations are open. Please come if you’re interested in educating yourself on your rights as a birthing woman. It will be an eye opener of a conference!
Fantastic – I love how you have described “the system” and your beautiful Amor’s arrival. It’s always an honour… being a midwife. It’s a strange life but a colourful one and we have the privilege of sharing in the moments, as you have described in your story. Thanks for putting it into words. Lina
thanks lina! could never have done it without you! and how could I forget to mention the back massages. edit #1 coming up.
Beautiful journey of labour….well I had c sec with my twins but wished i too had this experience.
Every birth is so special
thanks for the comment
Beautiful birth story. Thank you for sharing.Midwives & Doulas are truly a blessing for a birthing mum!
Absolutely Prachi ! Mine were the best!
congrats aloka …and a wonderfully written …
with a pregnency loss with my 1st preg wch was almost at term ( thanks to the doctor and our ignorence) …i was at the verge of dying with various complication and at teh brink of organ failure ….and that delivery was a hell experience which i want to forget ..after which i had 2 beautiful kids and was again at the brink of organ failure and being such a high risk pregnecies both were taken out at 36 and 35 week …but i had the most wonderful doctor who empowered me with understanding my body and how i managed all …with my 2nd c section i walked home on the 2nd day …and by my 3rd day back to routine …what pains me when i see around the amount of c section happens ..women are scared off,never explained how to manage pain,concentrate and most sadly as u mentioned they are treated as a mere addition of cash in the doc account!!! i have so many friends who on their due dates were cut open as the doc didnt have time !!! my pace is so important ,im now a homeschooling mother of 2 kids ..and slowing down is such an important learning for me ….seeing ur new baby brought back my memories 3 yrs back..bless you all
Hi sudha thanks for your comment and so sorry for your loss. That been heart breaking .:(
So incredible. Kudos to you for sharing your story! Women need to hear this and I hope more and more will be encouraged to be more informed and question the status quo of birth in hospitals as it stands today. Midwives for the win!
Thank you
This is so heart-rending. I have seen and read many home birth stories in mommy blogs and stuffs from abroad, but this first-hand account of birthing here in India is so so educational. I am 15 weeks pregnant with my second, and I so wish I can do this at home.
Thanks for sharing your story Aloka. You have no clue how much confident your blog has given me.
Hi mousume I am really delighted that my story has given you confidence. I am so glad!
Brilliant! I like your story and how you put it all into words. It’s a pleasure to be part of this beautiful event
-Nhing
Thanks Ning!
Aloka, I am keen to know how and after how much time did they cut the umbilical cord. I remember telling my doctor that I want you to cut the cord after some time has lapsed. She had promised me that she will in a natural birth but unfortunately I ended up in a section. What can I say, I loved the story. Brought tears to my eyes…and if Lina, Nhing, can answer if this is possible even after a c-sec. I was born at home coz my mother refused to go the hospital because she had a terrible experience a year before when my sister was born…
Hi Tanu. Yes in a cesarean birth it is possible to delay cord clamping but it is rare. You can search under “gentle cesarean” “family centred cesarean” for newer, more gentle approaches. Hope that helps.
Hi Tanu, they cut the cord after the placenta was born so more than half an hour later long after it stopped pulsing.with regards to home birth after c section, Lina Ning and Dr Ameet are the best people to comment. If you live in mumbai they have an amazing centre in Santa crux where you can have best of both. If there is any team in mumbai I can vouch for to try for a completely undisturbed birth it’s them
Thank you Aloka and Lina…Really something i want to consciously pursue if i go for a second…i always believed in my body. it talked to me…and at so many levels i am upset with it for not supporting me in a natural way for my pregnancy. now i know, i did not give it the right environment to bloom. my platelets had fallen super-low (50,000) wfor no reason and the doctor induced me at 40 weeks…someday, i want to ask some other doctor if low platelet was reason enough. that time i just wanted to trust my gynae… your story is inspiring and i have bookmarked it on my ipad.
Congratulations Aloka.
Your experience of water birth is giving goosebumps…
If a lady is physically fit, with low risk pregnancy and has a good team of midwives then water birth is the most amazing thing to welcome the new member of the family..
After all when did these hospital delivery come into scene.. our grandmothers used to have more than 3-4 children and all delivered at home with assistance from the grown up women in the family and a midwife. All of them had healthy babies, and were healthy with no complaints about backpain, weight gain and all.
Hospitals have made so natural a process into very complicated one and a serious money making business.
That and so much fear mongering. A pregnant woman automatically thinks of birth being a dangerous and painful affair. Thanks for your comment sangeeta!
Congratulations Aloka! You have celebrated the birth and being a mom in the most applauding way!
My pregnancy and birth was smooth and I have always have believed in my body being very capable of handling these things. I remember going to prenatal yoga classes and getting inspired for going for a water birth or atleast a no-epidural birth. But never followed up on getting a mid-wife or having a home/water birth. And when the pain got to its peak, I was more than eager to get the epidural, after which I was able to peacefully experience the miracle of my daughter’s birth.
I appreciate the courage you had to opt for this home birth. I wish I had a tiny bit of your courage to atleast avoid the epidural
Hats off to you and hope this encourages other to-be mom’s to follow your path!
hi Sangita. well i must admit it was easy for me to avoid this time because I didn’t have an option
thanks so much for your comment and glad you had such a lovely birth.
It’s so beautifully written Aloka, that it gives courage and the ability to take a call for a person who wants to birth Gently! It truly is an inspiring story!
thanks so much rashmee!
So happy to read your story. I always wanted a water birth but was apprehensive of home birth and my first baby ( a year old now) was born in a completely medicated, hospital environment. The whole procedure bothered me so much that even with all the artificial pitocin etc I was 10 cms dilated but my baby refused to move. Consequently, after 10 hrs of labour, I had a c-sec and the depression stayed with me for the longest time. Even now I feel I didn’t need any medical intervention and if ever again I do decide to have a baby , it definitely is going to be the different way.
Cheers to you and god bleed your little one.
thanks ankita. its really sad when this outcome happens for reasons the mother feels were avoidable. and then the response you get is that at least the baby is safe. but thats not it is it? I have not taken any ‘risks’ in birthing this way. if i had for one second thought that my baby was in danger i would have done whatever it takes. it’s just that in most cases without real danger or problems interventions create more. good luck for your next.
congrats Aloka! Your story is truly inspiring. It takes guts to take that big step, specially today when our minds are bounded in the shackles of hospitals and doctors subconsciously. Will share this story with my readers too! Lov to the little one
thank you so much charu and yes please do share. so happy that my post is inspiring moms to trust their bodies.
Extremely sorry for the typo error, god bless your little one.
[…] Read the complete story on Aloka’s blog. […]
wow, wow, wow. very well done. i was so interested in doing waterbirthing the first time around but did not find supportive nursing staff. do these people hav a cantre in gurgaon or delhi, can reccomend anyone in gurgaon or delhi, like the santa cruz centre you mention?
best wishes to your little one
she shrishti. thanks so much for writing and for your comment! i dont know much about gurgaon but why dont you ask lina from mumbai midwives – justlink if she can recomment anyone?
Congratulations and what a truly inspiring story so beautifully explained. I so wanted to have a natural birth but after bearing pain for 8 long hours they ended up doing c sec at the last moment. I felt cheated n betrayed. doc had to rush back to her clinic n ccouldn’t wait longer. the reason they gave me was my labour isnt progressing and baby is stuck. Hoping to have vbac next time.
hi deepshikha. thanks so much for your comment. i am so sorry for what you had to go through the first time but unfortunately this story is all too common. and we moms all of whom are so well read and aware are given half hearted explainations and treated like fools.
i am sure you will have a vbac and an awesome one at that next time but please do change your care provider.
congratulations!!! takes a lot of courage to break free !! Best wishes to your little one.
thanks so much hemali !
Awesome! A beautiful story and I noticed how you dont look tired at all!
thank you
honestly even if i was tired i was super charged and re energised after the birth! thanks !
Aloka many congratulations for the new arrival!! Homebirths are increasing nowdays and many articles can be found on internet. But the best part of your experience, how beautifully you have described it that it was worth reading it. I hope in future I will also be fit enough for homebirth if incase we plan for second..lol..Definitely your story is an inspiration for many others. Thanks for taking out time to share and encourage me and many others. And if possible can you share what you do to keep yourself fit as I want to get strong enough to plan for the second one. Many thanks again.
hi jasmeen how sweet you are and thanks!
please do try for one i am sure you can do it with the right birth companions who encourage you to believe in your incredible body.
well i do alot of yoga and walk, thats about all i can manage but apart from that i have led a very active lifestyle in the past 5 years and that has helped
i have tried to lead a natural lifestyle but it’s no miracle what i did trust me. most women including you can do it easily because thats how we are designed!
ggood luck
Aloka.. Great story.. I had an emergency c sec after 10 hrs of labour pain.. Was not too happy abt my delivery for my daughter..but I really wish I cud have a dream birth like for my next kid.. Is it possible to have natural birth after a c sec..? It’s a no from most ppl around me and that s very disturbing.. Any thoughts..how to contact Lina and Nhing..wd like to save their contacts for future.. !! Love u for the blog
Hi. I think you can definitely have a natural birth after c section provided you wait for a couple of years. Lina-98-33-482978
All the best!
Hey Aloka, that journey of giving birth to Amor is so so beautifully put… Its really a pleasure and a great privilege to be able to read this story…God bless you all.. And Heartiest Congrats on the new house.. Kisses to N and A.
Thank you!!!
Hi Aloka, truly amazing journey and hope you will cherish for the rest of your life! Congrats on the new born! Kudos to your hubby who understood you, coz right here in my place.. the husbands are scared if we talk to them about natural birth at home as they dont want to take risk! All the best! SugGee
thank you so much for your lovely comment and yes my husband was awesome! he just trusted me completely and didn’t have a reason to counter my pov.
I’m amazed at the way you have described the entire event and also at your courage to take the decision of a home birth. Pregnancy is a time when we all are so apprehensive and anything other than the ‘norm’ seems risky..even though I do get the point that the original ‘norm’ was home-birthing.. Also, kudos to your husband who supported your decision..Its a lovely story to read..My love to your two kids and hope to read more amazing stories on your blog.
Thanks. Yes that’s the whole point isn’t it. Popular culture has made birth out to be such a scary and fearful concept. Frankly I don’t think hospitals should be considered the norms like they are today.
Aloka, so so happy to see and read about your beautiful birthing experience. The pictures really speak a thousand words. Am so glad that you even had a water birth at home.
Loads of love, blessings and hugs to you n your family.
Thanks a ton sangeeta :)!
So happy to read this experience of yours. Its wonderful!
thank you! great to see you here
completely inspired and impressed with your story Aloka!…i have two kids….still feeling like birthing again…and your story reminded me all the scenario when my angel girl was born!…and i was on top of the world!
Hi isha thank you so much for your comment
Feels like stupid, after giving two births, today I came to know, that there is someone, who can help in natural birth. My both kids birth was with C-Section in two different hospitals. Whole pregnancy time, I done everything, what my doctor advised but both times, 15-20 days before, my doctor advised us for C-section, by telling us, if we wait more for Natural birth, this can be risky for baby. You know, nobody will take a chance after hearing that. I am not saying they were wrong but I doubt when I saw, C-section births are increasing and increasing. What is changed in just 20 years. Around 20 years before there was rare c-section births and we know before 50 years C-section was even not existed.
But good to see you gave a natural birth and felt the time & saw when your baby came in this world. You described everything nicely, I was visualizing everything: D My two cousins are pregnant and due after 5 and 7 months, will share this post with them. So they have a option.
Betwee aloka, post your Newspaper cutting here, so people know more about this,
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CnpbFfoXEAEEaga.jpg
Hi Seema,
yes it is a little sad when you think back and wonder whether the C sections were really needed. unfortunately many doctors in india do not wait beyong 40 weeks where as in the UK 42 weeks is considered full term. all pregnancies and babies are different and babies maybe ready to be born at any time between 38 and 42 weeks and in most cases without any complications and when medical professionals use fear mongering to operate it is just sad.
thanks for sharing!
and glad you could visualise the birth