I have some good news! I’m just recovering from the worst trimester – The first trimester and am currently 14 weeks pregnant.

I don’t know how I had managed to put the first trimester and the awful puke filled memories behind me the first time. But this time I really felt I had no strength to go on.

Having an energetic two year old when you’re at your absolute worst doesn’t help. It was crippling to say the least. I could not get anything done. Could not get myself to turn on a computer or reply to phone calls or messages. I’d snap at my little toddler when he wanted attention. I simply could not function.

I remember feeling like this the last time around too but I managed to brave my way through it without getting so morose. This time the weeks felt like months.

How does it feel?

Every waking moment my nostrils were bombarded with smells that was violently puke inducing. I threw up everything I ate. I was hungry but couldn’t stand to eat. I lost 5 kgs in 2 months and the weakness and fatigue made me feel like it was the end of everything. The only good time I felt ok was when I was sleeping so I slept A LOT. The prospect of eating still makes me upset because I don’t enjoy anything I eat. I am a food lover and a meat lover and haven’t had a bite of meat since I was 5 weeks pregnant. I just cannot be in the same room as meat without feeling a violent disgusting need to throw up.

It really interferes with life. Social, professional, family life everything goes for a toss. And most people don’t go about talking about their pregnancies before the 12 week of 3-month mark so you go about extricating yourself from life in general without even offering an explanation.

I have written before about how I am not going the hospital/ Ob/gyn route this time around. Instead I’ve found myself a lovely midwife and a back up doctor who is going to help me with this birth. This doctor prescribed medication for the unrelenting nausea and vomiting. Whereas I had to beg and plead the last time around and was totally poopoohed by the doctor, saying that it will pass, in spite of the amount of weight I kept losing visit after visit.

The thing is for some women the first trimester can be truly crippling. And many doctors specially the well-known and super busy ones don’t have the time to deal with it case by case and don’t prescribe medication. I am not someone who enjoys taking medication. I am lucky that I don’t need to go to the doctor at all and don’t need medication in the normal course. However this time, I took it gladly and felt so much better.

I’m now back to my regular Iyengar yoga class and back to hand stands, headstands, elbow stands and other amazing things. I’ve got my energy back and am back to this blog and other things that I had put behind me for the last three months.

I’m looking forward to this baby so much! People say that the firstborn is lucky as he gets all the attention and you just don’t do the same things with subsequent babies. In my case however I have learnt parenting the hard way with N and have become a so much better parent over time. Now with baby #2 I will start off putting into practice what I have learnt right from birth to baby wearing to co-sleeping, to gentle parenting in every way.

People ask me what I will do if baby # 2 is also a boy. To them I say…

Umm. I don’t know.
Love him with my heart and soul and body. Nurture him, protect him, guide him, teach him, hold his hand and set him free with the hope that I have taught him well. The same that I would do if I had a girl. The same as I am doing with my first.
Why do you ask?

Honestly after having one little one who fills my world with so much love and sunshine I am baffled at the gender question.

Thanks for reading! I really hope to be back to writing more now! I love this blog and have missed it!

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